


The Grand Facade

by romanticalgirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 10:38:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl





	The Grand Facade

Blacks had servants and associates, partners and minions, retainers and enemies. They had many things, but they most certainly did not have friends. Which was, of course, why Sirius had wanted some so badly. And why, when finally faced with the prospect of having some, he'd nearly cocked it up irrevocably.   
He'd lavished them with gifts, even James who came from a fortune large enough to rival his own. He bought them things they needed and things they didn't and he couldn't figure out why, as the pile of gifts sat mostly unused and untouched in the corner, Peter and Remus - especially Remus - seemed less and less friendly, less open, laughed less. 

He'd finally asked one day, grabbing Remus by the arm and tugging him down a deserted hallway, taking advantage of his recent growth spurt to tower over him. Remus had sighed, not even slightly intimidated and answered his question, his strangely golden eyes holding Sirius's gaze. 

After that, Sirius had never bought Remus another thing. 

Until today. 

* * * 

Sirius glanced at the bags in his hands and sighed. The door remained closed to him, though that was due to the fact that he'd yet to work up the courage to knock. "You're a Black," he reminded himself. "Which, despite all the horror stories that could imply, also means you should have the balls to knock and stop nancying about in the corridor." 

"Are Blacks also prone to talking to themselves?" 

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment before turning, his cocky grin set in place. "Only when their friends drive them nutters. Hello, Lily." 

"Sirius." She moved closer, prodding one of the shopping bags with her finger. "What's all this?" 

"None of your business, my dear." He shuffled the bags, moving them out of her reach. "What brings you here?" 

"Just visiting Remus. That was the plan, anyway. Of course, now that you're here, I have to debate whether the pleasure of his company is worth the miserable burden of yours." 

"Surely James is somewhere close by? I mean, it is past noon. Shouldn't you be making plans? Shagging?" 

"Not everything comes down to sex, you know." She nodded toward the door. "Remus, for example." 

"You're attempting to tell me that my dear mate, who is twenty and voraciously male, doesn't think about sex?" 

"Oh, no. I know he does. But, unlike you and, I must admit, James, with Remus you don't know that's what he's always thinking about." 

"We do occasionally think about Quidditch." 

"And Quidditch is completely devoid of any sexual overtones at all, isn't it?" She smirked at him. "Nice try, Black. Besides, Remus doesn't seem to think much about Quidditch either." 

Suspicion darkened Sirius's gaze. "You've given a lot of thought to Remus and sex, have you?" 

Lily smiled mysteriously. "You know, maybe I'll just leave you two alone today." 

"You've not answered my question, Evans." 

She waved her fingers at him and headed back down the corridor. He watched her go, emotions boiling inside him. He growled, baring his teeth and kicked the door, startled out of his anger when it swung open. 

"Moony?" There was no answer and a sudden shiver of fear shot along Sirius's spine. "Moony? You here?" He dumped his bags inside the room and closed the door behind him. The flat was small, everything visible in one glance, save the bedroom and bath, separated by a ratty curtain. Sirius moved forward and brushed the worn fabric aside, Remus's name dying on his lips. 

Remus was sprawled across the low mattress, limbs tossed and spread in abandon, lips parted, entirely naked, the sheet bunched up beside him. 

"Merlin." 

Remus's lips curled into a sleepy smile and he moved, his hand sliding up his thigh and cradling his erection, curving around it. 

Sirius stumbled backwards, suppressing a surprised shriek as the curtain seemed to grab at him. He moved into the main room, his chest tight, his breath caught in his constricted lungs. He backed into the sofa and sank onto it, his hands gripping his knees as he forced himself to breathe. 

He'd seen Remus naked before. You don't live with someone for seven years without it. But he'd never seen him like that. Naked with intent. Without the context of a shower after a to-the-death Exploding Snap tournament gone awry. Naked, on a bed, sprawled, smiling. 

Sirius leaned forward, dropping his head between his knees. The movement drew a sharp gasp past his lips, his pants rubbing tightly against his aching erection. He cursed under his breath and fought for control, his mind searching for relief. He ran through his usual litany of anti-aphrodisiacs, consciously slipping past questionable ones - now was not the time to dwell on any lingering attraction to any particular Slytherins - and strove straight for the heavy hitters. Peter having sex. James having sex with Lily. 

"Remus!" Sirius stood, roaring his friend's name. He didn't hesitate as he stroke angrily back into the bedroom, his black eyes flashing fire. He kicked the edge of the mattress. "Wake up, you lousy bastard." 

"Christ, Sirius." Remus rubbed his face with his hand, using the other to pull the sheet over his lap as he sat up. "What is it?" 

"You know bloody well what it is!" 

"Actually, I haven't a clue. What're you doing here? How'd you get in?" 

"Don't you mean where's Lily?" 

Remus squinted at him. "What?" 

"Wasn't that who this was for?" He gestured to the bed. "Naked. Sprawled. Christ, Moony, she's getting married!" 

"What in the name of Merlin's boxer shorts are you ranting about, Sirius? I Apparated home as soon as the moon set and stumbled to bed." 

"You're naked." 

"Yes, well. I live here. Alone. It's allowed." 

"What if Lily'd come in?" 

"Well, I'd assume she'd knock first, since that's what the more civilized folks do." He threw off the sheet and stood up, ignoring Sirius. "I realize that might be somewhat beneath the most noble house of Black, but really, it works for the rest of the world, you might want to give it a try." 

Sirius swallowed hard as Remus pulled on a pair of threadbare sweatpants, his thin chest still bare. He absorbed Remus's glare, barely noticing. Swallowing again, he blinked and cleared his throat. "I brought you a present." 

* * * 

"You what?" 

"I bought you a present." He cleared his throat again. "It's in the other room." 

Remus didn't move save for the rise and fall of his chest, the slow blink of his eyes. "Do let me get this straight, Sirius. Five seconds ago you were accusing me of having sex with Lily and now you want to give me a present?" 

"Er, yes. I bought the present before the Lily confrontation though, if it matters. Shall I go get it? Them?" 

"Them?" 

"Yes. Just…" Sirius shook his head. "Do you always sleep in the nude?" 

"I'm going to shower." Remus took a deep breath. "Make yourself useful, won't you, and put the kettle on?" 

Sirius shuddered as Remus disappeared into the closet that served as his bathroom, moving quickly to the hot plate that was laughingly billed as his kitchen. His hands trembled as he filled the kettle and he stared at them as if they belonged to someone else. He heard the water come on in the shower, his body jerking as the pipes squealed in protest. 

"Breathe," he reminded himself. "You're a Black, and though a disgrace to the name in your parents's eyes, you still possess all the traits they hold dear, so get a grip on yourself. So what if Remus is shagging Lily. It's their business and their problem. It's not as if I'm interested in her at all." 

The kettle rattled in his hand and he hurriedly put it down. Making sure the heat was on, he walked back to Remus's bedroom and leaned against the wall, watching the long, lithe form of his friend as he scrubbed away the night of the wolf.; 

The kettle whistled just as the shower cut off. Sirius moved back to the kitchen and fixed Remus's tea, carrying it into the bedroom with him. Remus was half dressed, his faded jeans clinging to his body, drops of water glistening on his chest and shoulders. Sirius held up the cup. "Tea." 

"Thanks." Remus accepted the cup, taking a cautious sip. 

Sirius watched, his eyes marking the swallow, trailing it past Remus's Adam's apple then continuing down over his chest, the golden brown hairs that covered it. "I've never fancied Lily. Did you know that?" 

Remus nearly choked, recovered. "I'm sure James appreciates it." 

"Not because of James. And not because she acts like I'm a lower life form most of the time. I mean, with Veronica, I really sort of took that as a challenge, didn't I?" 

Remus lifted an eyebrow in response, taking another sip of his tea. 

"But Lily, she drives me mad. I see her and I want to throttle someone. Don't get me wrong," he held up his hand as Remus started to speak. "She's a great girl and I'm thrilled about her and James. Couldn't be happier, but she still drives me insane." 

"I really don't…" 

"Because she fancies you." 

"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius. She's engaged to James." 

"But you're still sleeping with her, aren't you?" 

"Lily and I are friends." Remus's tone brooked no argument. "Now, why are you here, Sirius?" 

Insolence darted across his face, unchecked and unbalanced, his handsome features hardening with his heritage for an endless instant. He and Remus glared at each other wordlessly until Sirius loosed a quiet chuckle. "I already told you, Moony. I bought you a present." 

* * * 

Remus followed Sirius out of the bedroom, grabbing a t-shirt from the precariously balanced pile beside the doorway. He tugged it over his head, shaking his still damp hair. "You never buy me presents." 

"And you know why. But we're beyond that now, right? You're my friend because of my undeniable charm, so I can spend as much as I like." He hefted the bags and set them on the couch. "So. Presents." 

"What's the occasion?" 

Sirius sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "Open the sodding bags, Lupin, or I'll take drastic action." 

Remus's mouth twitched with the ghost of a smile as he sat on the low sofa. He glanced at the bags with a raised eyebrow. "Where am I to begin?" 

"This one." Sirius held out the smallest of the three, his eyes bright. 

Remus took it and hefted the weight, curiosity tilting his head. Sirius choked back a laugh, knowing he did the same thing. 

"Today, Remus." 

"You didn't have to get me anything." 

"Wouldn't have done it if I had to, Moony." He nudged Remus's bare foot with the tip of his shoe. "Get on with it." 

Remus opened the bag, his eyebrows shooting up. Handfuls of miniature books spilled out of the small sack onto the cushion beside him. "What is this?" 

"Found a shop. Bought out their selection." 

Remus grabbed his wand off the end table and enlarged the first volume. "They're all on lycanthropy?" 

"Most of them. A few are strictly for amusement." He dug through the pile, his fingers carelessly brushing Remus's thigh. "This one." He enlarged it and passed it to Remus, grinning as Remus blushed violently. "Werewolf soft-core pornography, Remus. For the, how'd she say it? Discerning reader." 

"And let me guess," Remus smirked, "she offered to act out a passage or two with you?" 

Sirius shrugged. "Told her I wasn't a werewolf. She seemed less interested after that. I thought about telling her about you, but she didn't seem your type." 

"Given that you think my type is Lily, I don't know that you're the best judge of that, are you?" Remus carefully placed the books back in the bag. "Thank you, Sirius." 

"We're not done." 

"This is more than enough." 

"Remus," Sirius sighed. "What is the point of me having a fortune of ill-gotten gains at my disposal if I can't use it to buy nice things for my friends?" 

"We've discussed this…" 

"Ad nauseum. Yes." Sirius sighed again, closing his eyes. "I'm not trying to buy your friendship or anything else, Moony. I'm not buying you things as a way to irritate my parents. I'm trying to be nice to you and give you things that might make you smile so you'll stop walking about like you've got the protagonist of a gothic novel rammed up your arse." 

Remus stared at him for a long moment then burst out laughing. Sirius glared at him, finally breaking down and chuckling as Remus's mirth grew contagious. "Do I really look like that?" 

"Occasionally," Sirius admitted. "Sometimes you look like you're just tired." He shrugged and looked past his friend to the grimy window behind him. "I just wanted to be nice to you, Remus." 

"You are nice to me, Sirius, even without gifts." His lips twitched as Sirius shifted, his mouth opening. "But the gifts are lovely. And I thank you for them." 

"There are still more," he reminded him, swallowing the argument he'd been prepared to start again. He handed another, larger bag to Remus. "This one next." 

Remus opened the bag and gasped, the butterscotch colored, camel hair coat falling over his lap. "No, Sirius." 

"Yes, Remus." He took it from Remus's hands and held it up, letting the fabric fall toward the floor. "It's almost winter and you've got that ratty old thing that wouldn't keep out a summer breeze. Now stand up." Remus got to his feet reluctantly, turning to let Sirius slide the coat up his arms. Warm breath stirred his hair, danced over his ear. "Fits all right, hmm?" 

"It's too much, Sirius." 

"It's not enough, Moony." He ran his hands down Remus's arms. "Not nearly enough." 

"Sirius…" 

Sirius stepped back, shrugging Remus away. "Besides, Moony, how would I look if one of my dearest friends froze to death? Not good, I'll tell you." 

Remus smiled and shook his head. "You've still done too much." 

"Your argument's grown tiresome, you know. Now open the third one." 

* * * 

Remus picked the third bag off the floor, his eyes still locked on Sirius. "You know, I'm likely to get mugged wearing that coat." 

"It's got a special pocket just for your wand," His mouth twisted in a grin. "I'm sure you'll be able to hold your own." 

"And once again you've turned a serious discussion into childish innuendo." 

"I'll notice that you weren't all that hard pressed to get said innuendo." 

"You're not subtle." 

"You're stalling." 

Remus sighed and opened the bag. He reached inside as he tilted it, fabric spilling out over his lap. He pulled the pieces apart; the black pants were soft, dark as midnight and the electric blue shirt was a waterfall of silk. "You're dressing me now?" 

"Someone has to. I don't know why you feel the impulse to dress in tweed, but it's not fashionable." 

"I'm not supposed to be fashionable. I'm supposed to look like a professor." 

You look like a librarian who's had a hard read." Sirius caught the sleeve of the shirt, fingering it gently. "Put them on?" 

Remus looked up at Sirius's tone, the thick huskiness of his voice. "Why?" 

"Because I want you to." 

"And I'm just to do your bidding, am I?" 

Sirius shrugged. "Why not? It's not as if you've got other plans, right?" He cocked an eyebrow. "A tete-a-tete with Lily, perhaps?" 

"You get less and less funny." 

"You think?" Sirius smiled wolfishly. "Are you going to get dressed Remus? Or am I to be forced to do it for you?" 

"I don't see why I'm getting dressed up," Remus got to his feet, the clothes draped carefully over his arm, "to do nothing but laze around the flat." 

"You're not." 

"Getting dressed up?" 

"Lazing around the flat." Sirius glanced at the clock on the wall. "In fact, we're needed to be not lazing around the flat in ten minutes, so do get a move on, won't you?" 

"Did it ever cross your mind that I might not want to go out today, Sirius?" 

"Well," he shrugged, "yes. But I knew I could persuade you." His shoulders sagged at Remus's look. "Oh, come on, Moony. Would you please have a bit of fun?" 

"If only I trusted your idea of fun." 

Sirius stiffened as Remus walked toward the bedroom. "I thought we'd moved past that." 

Remus sighed and ducked behind the curtain. "I meant nothing by it, Sirius." 

"Right." 

"That voice you're hearing in your head isn't mine." Remus pulled his t-shirt off, tossing it on the mangled sheets. "It's your own guilty conscience." 

"You're assuming I feel guilty." Sirius brushed past the curtain and fell across Remus's bed, his head resting in his hand as he grinned at his friend. "Which, given that we're talking about Snivellus is an inaccurate assumption." He fell back and stared at the celing as Remus slid the silk shirt up his arms. "But let's not spoil today with talk of him, eh? He's been enough of a bane to my existence without ruining the rest of it." 

"You brought him up." 

Sirius turned back on his side and smiled at Remus. "Are you dressed yet?" 

"Just because you were an unavoidable audience at school doesn't mean I relish changing in front of you." 

"I always was a voyeur." Sirius grinned slyly. "It's one of the few good traits I inherited from my father. Besides, Moony, you sleep in the nude. You've got to expect these sorts of things." 

Remus rolled his eyes and kicked off his jeans. "It's amazing how much you despise the Black heritage until it can explain away some questionable behavior of yours." 

"Says the man who will no doubt credit his unfortunate lycanthropy for his incessant whining." Sirius lobbed a pillow at Remus. "So do hush up and put your pants on." 

"Or else?" 

"Or else I'll transform and shed all over your sheets." 

Remus grinned and pulled his slacks on. Sirius watched him discreetly, eyes unreadable. "I don't have shoes." 

"Taken care of." Sirius dug his hand into his coat pocket, grabbing his wand as well. He enlarged the black lump on his palm, presenting Remus with a pair of black leather motorcycle boots. 

"There's no way I'm riding on that bike with you, Sirius." 

His exasperated sigh filled the small room. " Yes, Moony. I'm well aware of what you think of my dangerous habits. Just put the sodding shoes on and let's go." Sirius got to his feet, his own coat, long black and leather, following with a menacing swirl. "You know, it's no wonder Muggles are horrible to each other. Being nice is near impossible." 

Remus slid the boots on and followed Sirius into the living room. "I'm sorry." 

"Let's go," Sirius tossed him his coat. "This time, no questions asked." 

* * * 

Remus stopped on the sidewalk, shaking his head before he even opened his mouth. "Oh, absolutely not." 

"C'mon, Remus." Sirius grabbed his elbow and guided him ot the limosine stretched along the curb. "Get in." 

"Sirius…" 

"It's not a family function or anything." He jerked Remus to a stop as he reached for the door. "Allow me." He swung the door open and waited for Remus to climb in before following him, shutting the door behind them. He tapped the glass dividing them from the driver and the car moved smoothly away from the curb. 

"This is completely out of line, you know?" 

"Champagne?" Sirius wrested the bottle free of the bucket it was sitting in. "It's from the Beaubaxton vineyards. I think it's even older than Dumbledore." 

"Sirius…" 

"Christ, Remus!" He slammed the bottle down, the glass crashing against the ice. "Don't insult me with your placating tone." He smacked his open palm against the glass and the limo jerked to the side. Grabbing the door handle, Sirius kicked the sleek panel open. "Get out." 

"Sirius, I…" 

"Get. Out." 

Remus started to speak then stopped, climbing out of the car. He turned in time to see Sirius slam the door, the squeal of tires filling the thick London air. 

* * * 

Stop laughing." 

Lily bit her bottom lip, her eyes dancing with mirth. Remus growled and got off the couch, stomping into the kitchen. Lily took a deep breath, squeaked out "Nice boots," and dissolved into a paroxym of giggles. 

He growled again, shoving the kettle under the spout. "Stop laughing or I swear I'll hex you." 

"You will not," she sniffed, struggling for control. "So, then what happened?" 

"I called you." He set the kettle on the burner and moved back to the living room, sinking down onto the couch. He leaned against the arm, one foot planted on the cushions, boot and all, the other on the floor, his hands between his legs. "Sirius disappeared and I called you." 

"You really do need to learn to be more gracious, Remus." She pulled her feet up onto the couch, tucking them beneath her skirt. "He was just trying to be nice. It is your birthday, after all." 

"Still," he shook his head. "It was odd." 

"Of course it was," Lily grinned. "He was trying to seduce you." 

"What?" She got to her feet as the kettle started to whistle. Remus grabbed her wrist loosely. She sighed and smiled down at him expectantly. "What?" 

"He was trying to seduce you, Remus." 

"Bollocks, he was. This is Sirius." 

"That's right." She nodded and perched on his knee, her eyes flashing brilliant green. "And he's been in love with you forever, though I doubt even he's figured it out completely." 

"You've gone daft, woman." 

She got up and went into the kitchen. "Do you want tea?" 

"I want you to explain what the bloody hell you're talking about." 

Lily sighed and turned off the burner, pulling two pints of butterbeer from the cupboard instead. He looked and her and she sighed, putting them both back. "It's self-explanatory, Remus. Sirius has fancied you forever. Why d'you think he always tags along with you?" 

"Because James is busy shagging you?" 

"Sirius hates his family. He hates even more that sometimes his breeding comes through and he says or does things that his family would condone, would approve of. Hates it because he doesn't want to be that man." 

"I still don't see..." 

"Because he knows that's not the type of man you want." 

"I don't want any man." He caught her wrist again as she came around the sofa, tugging her gently into his lap as he stretched his leg along the cushions. "I want you." 

"Yes, well." She kissed him lightly on the lips and climbed off. "We're talking about Sirius." 

"He doesn't fancy me." 

"Remus." She sighed and shook her head as he looked up at her. After a few moments of silence, she ducked her head and settled back on his lap, his arm around her, fingers resting lightly against her shoulder. 

"So, what's given you this idea?" 

She shivered, his voice like thick syrup, an insistent tide, pulling her under. "I've watched him." 

"You have, have you?" He pulled her closer, his breath warm on her neck. "Should I be jealous of Sirius as well as James then?" 

"Watched him," she gasped spoftly as his tongue pressed against her rapid pulse, "watch you." She shifted slightly, facing him, seeking his mouth out with hers. Remus groaned as she kissed him, her deceptive fraility falling away as her tongue commanded his, controlled it. "He stares at you," she murmured between kisses. "His eyes dark and mysterious and possessive." 

Remus broke the kiss, his hand curved around the back of her neck, his eyes smoky with desire. "He doesn't own me." 

"He wants to." 

"And I want you." He drew her in, his tongue slipping past her parted lips, the warm scent of her overloading all his senses. She clutched at the thin silk shirt, moaning at the sensation, her hands curling into fists, the delicate pain of her ring digging into his chest. 

Remus pulled back, gasping desperately for air, his hands shaking as he pushed her away. Lily pressed a hand to her swollen lips, swallowing hard. "We're not supposed to do that." 

"No," Remus laughed, the sound almost harsh. "We're not. We've stopped." 

"Right." 

"Sirius believes we're sleeping together. Did I mention that?" 

"And what did you say?" 

"I reminded him that you're marrying James in two weeks." 

"A very non-commital response." 

"I believe I said no as well. Since we're not." 

"We're not allowed." She moved her fingers from her lips to his, her hand trembling. 

Remus nodded, closing his eyes, absorbing her touch. "You should go," he whispered against her hand, his eyes closing tighter as the fingers of her other hand played with the top button of hs shirt. "Lily." 

"I should," she agreed, replacing her fingers with her mouth, both hands unbuttoning his shirt, easing it off his powerful shoulders. Remus moaned in quiet desperation, pushing her away with the last of his control. 

"Does he know?" 

She didn't say anything for a long moment, finally dropping her hands from his chest to her stomach, fingers splaying over the flat surface. "No." 

"When will you tell him?" 

"After the wedding." 

He nodded, covering both of her slim hands with one of his. "And what will you tell him?" 

"That we're going to have a lovely boy named Harry." 

"And if it's a girl?" 

"That we're having a lovely girl named Harry." 

He smiled, chuckling as he removed his hand. "You know I'll know, don't you? As soon as little Harry's born?" 

She didn't look at him as she nodded. Finally she met his eyes. "Yes." 

"Sirius may as well." 

She looked away, wrapping her arms around her. "Do you fancy him at all, Remus?" 

"Sirius?" 

"Yes. I mean, Wizards aren't like Muggles, are they? They don't worry about gender so much. Have you ever..." 

"No." He said the word softly. 

"Ever thought about it?" 

"I lived with three other boys, two of whom were the most popular lads in the history of Hogwarts, Lily." 

"Another non-commital response. Is that a yes?" 

"Fantasies only. Nothing more." 

"He does fancy you." 

"He's not interested in me." 

"He is. He loves you. You deserve someone who loves you, Remus. Only you." She was silent for a long time before looking at him again, smiling, composed. "In fact, I'm sure Sirius fancies you." 

"Sure, hmm?" 

"So sure," she moved back to him, straddling his legs, "that I'm going to make you a wager." 

"Oh?" 

"I say Sirius makes a play for you at some point during the party tonight." 

"Yes, after you put him up to it." 

"I won't. I swear." She placed her hands over her heart, her eyebrow lifted in challenge. "Well?" 

"And if he does? What do you get?" 

"Your soft-core werewolf porn." 

Remus laughed. "All right. And if I win? What do I get?" 

"What do you want?" 

He eased her off his lap and stood up, buttoning his shirt with fingers he didn't quite trust. "I can't have what I want," he reminded her with a rueful smile. "but I'll settle for the matching set of classics you got for your birthday." 

"But..." 

"I'll loan them to you," he assured her, mimicking her voice, the conversation they'd had the night of her party. "Besides, you'll have your hands full for a while soon enough, won't you?" 

"You'll read to him?" 

Remus didn't smile as he looked at her, caressed her stomach with his gaze, a light in his eyes. "As if he were my own." 

* * * 

"Thank Merlin." 

Remus smiled and took a seat at the table. "Hello, Peter." 

"Sirius is piss-drunk." 

"Sirius," Sirius drawled," is sitting not two feet from you, you little wanker." 

"Yes," Peter agreed. "But you're so drunk you're not going to remember a thing about tonight, so I can say what I like." He looked slightly fearful as he glanced at Remus. "Can't I?" 

Remus simply smiled. "He's a few drinks ahead of us, is he?" 

Sirius turned his dark gaze to Remus. "I am drams, bottles and kegs ahead of Peter, Remus. I'd venture to say I'm a full magnum ahead of you." 

Remus closed his eyes briefly, opening them at the light touch on his shoulder. "Hello, Andromeda." 

"What'll you have, Remus?" 

"Less drunk companions. And, barring that, whiskey to catch me up." He glanced at Sirius. "No more for him, hmm?" 

"He's no doubt got a flask somewhere. Besides, I think he's reached his threshold. I doubt he can get any drunker." 

"I'm not drunk," Sirius stated flatly. "I'm vitrolic, venomous and biting. Just like a good little Black. And do be so kind as to not talk about me as if I am not here." He turned a cruel smile on his cousin. "How is little Nymph-o-dora these days?" 

"She's fine, Sirius." 

"I hear she's living up to her name." 

"She goes by Tonks, actually," Andromeda bit out through her teeth. 

"Ah?" 

"Well, we're not all so enamoured of the Black name as you seem to be, Sirius." She cut her eyes back to Remus. "I'll be back with your drink." 

Remus glanced at Peter. His head was bowed, his eyes focused on the foamy head of his beer. Peter's innate talent for making himself smaller, nearly invisible, didn't soley come from his animagus form. 

"I've completely forgotten!" Sirius lifted his glass in toast. "Happy birthday, Moony." 

"Thank you, Sirius." 

"Any good presents?" 

"Yes. Thank you." 

"Remus," Sirius leaned in toward Peter, who flinched; his voice dropped to a loud, dramatic whisper, "doesn't like presents." 

"Oh. I bought you a present." 

Remus nodded, "Thank you, Peter." 

"Remus is too good for presents. Above them." 

"It's nothing much." 

"I'm sure it's fine, Peter. Sirius..." 

"What did Lily get you, Remus?" 

"I've no idea, as she and James aren't here yet." Remus stood up and moved around the table, sliding his hand under Sirius's elbow. "Come on, Sirius." 

"Are you going to scold me, Moony?" He batted his long lashes. "Am I to be punished?" 

"You're being a drunken arse, Sirius." He forced him to his feet, strength rippling through his wiry frame. "Let's go." 

"Ah! But here are James and Lily. Potter and Potter-to-be!" Sirius tugged free of Remus's grip and wrapped his arm around James's shoulder, his momentum spinning them both around. "James, you right bastard, you're woefully behind on your drinking." 

James cocked an eyebrow at Remus. "Seems as though you've done enough for all of us, Padfoot." 

"And Lily." Sirius squinted at her, his lip curled back in a slight sneer. "Always a pleasure." 

She nodded briefly, not breaking eye contact. "Sirius." 

"I do hate to be rude," he gave a bark of laughter at Lily's smirk, "but Remus was dragging me off for a severe scolding. Apparently, I'm being an arse." 

"If that were the reason, you'd be constantly scolded, Sirius." 

"Hmmm," he grinned slyly at Lily, stepping closer, invading the space around her. "And what, pray tell, does he give you your tongue lashings for?" 

"Sirius." 

He looked at Remus, his gaze drawn by the hard authority in his tone. "Yes, Remus." He grinned at James. "Order another round, Prongs. I'll be back after I'm properly chastened." He followed Remus, his amused gaze changing, focusing as Remus reached back without looking and grabbed him, jerking him around in front of him. Sirius stumbled, slamming against Remus. He stood there for a moment before pulling back, his pride wrapped around him. 

"Tell me, Sirius, do you think you're amusing? Funny? Anything less than insulting? Because I'd have to inform you that if you do, you're certainly the only one in the room." 

"You're one to talk about insulting, Remus." He flicked the collar of Remus's shirt. "Will anyone else's gifts offend you as mine did? Is it because Black money paid for them, Remus? Or simply because they come from me? What is it that makes them so repulsive to you?" 

"Sirius..." 

"Take them off." 

"What?" 

Sirius's nails scraped at the fabric as he unbuttoned Remus's shirt, tugging it free of his dark slacks. "Take them off, Remus. Forget that I wanted to give you something nice, treat you the way I think you should be treated." He pushed Remus against the wall behind him, warm hands spreading over Remus's chest, palms smooth against Remus's hard nipples. "I wanted to give you everything, you stupid bastard," Sirius whispered against his lips. "Everything." 

* * * 

"Everything okay?" James asked softly, leaning against the opposite wall. His smile seemed wide enough to actually hurt and Remus glared at him. "What's the matter with Sirius?" 

"He passed out." 

"And conveniently fell on you, eh?" He ran a hand through his dark hair. "What happened?" 

"He drank too much." Remus shifted, pushing Sirius away, balancing him. "I'd have thought that was a given." 

"Any ideas why?" 

Remus sighed. "Is there something in particular that you're asking, James? Because what was supposed to be a glorious day spent in bed doing nothing followed by an evening of drinking with my dearest friends has been turned into an angst-ridden, emotional horror show and, to be honest, I'm rather annoyed at that particular turn of events." 

James shrugged. "He told me he was going to buy you a present this year." He eyed Remus's outfit, his unbuttoned shirt. "I see that he did." 

"Just go call us a cab." 

"He needs your approval, you know." 

"What he needs," Remus sighed, "is a good, solid kick in the arse." 

"Well, given that you can't exactly use mobilicorpus here in the pub, it may be the easiest way to get him to the curb." 

* * * 

Sirius groaned and buried his head deeper in the pillow. The scent that had haunted the few dreams he remembered assaulted him and he groaned again, the sentiment altogether different. 

"Drink this. And I'd advise against opening your eyes until you do." 

Sirius sat up and opened his eyes. Pain roughly the size of a bludger hit him between the eyes. "Oh...Christ." 

"I warned you." Remus nudged a vial under his nose. "Drink this." 

Sirius closed his eyes and opened his mouth, tossing the contents back like a shot. He shuddered and slumped back against the pillow. "How much did I drink?" 

"Judging from the things you said? Somewhere between 'too much' and 'what the bloody fuck are you trying to do, kill yourself?'." 

"Ah." He opened one eye cautiously. "And what, ah, did I say? Exactly?" 

"You don't remember?" 

"My mind is mercifully blank." 

"Back to normal then, are you?" Remus grinned and dodged out of the way of the arm Sirius blindly swung at him. "You insulted Andromeda and Nymphadora." 

"Oh." 

"Peter. But that's to be expected." 

"Hmm." 

"Lily." 

Sirius caught Remus's eye, judging his expression. "I didn't say anything...too out of line, did I?" 

"You asked her what she did to get a tongue-lashing from me." 

Sirius laughed then winced. "Good to know that I retain my wit when I've not got my wits about me." he turned on his side, not looking at Remus's face, instead staring at the wrinkled curve of the pillow. "And you?" 

Remus didn't say anything for a long moment, didn't say anything at all as he lay next to Sirius, his lean body stretching along the mattress. "Do you remember anything?" 

Heat coiling in his stomach. Hunger. Pain. Desire. The sweet press of flesh. 

"Nothing." 

"Lily seems to think you fancy me." 

"I see." 

"Do you?" 

"Should I?" 

Remus reached out and touched a finger to Sirius's lip, tapping once. "I watched you sleep." 

His chest tightened. His groin tightened. "Did you." 

"I had no idea you were..." 

"A bloody poof?" 

"Interested." 

"Ah." Sirius rolled onto his back, pulling the sheet with him. "Well..." 

"Are you?" 

"A poof?" 

Remus sighed. "Interested." 

"Not in men. No." 

"I see." 

"Not as a rule." Sirius shook his head and sat up. "Is this some sort of retribution? I say you fancy her so she says I fancy you?" 

"Perhaps." Remus reached out, his hand moving slowly. Sirius watched its progress with unreadable eyes. "You kissed me last night." 

"Did I?" Sirius choked out hoarsely. 

"Just a small kiss." 

"Oh?" His breath spilled over his parted lips, out of control. Remus's hand settled on his thigh, the sheet separating their bare skin. 

"You talk in your sleep, Sirius." 

"Do...do I?" 

Remus's hand slid up Sirius's stomach, light pressure pushing him back down onto the bed. He swallowed hard and turned his head as Remus's hand lay still on his chest, his face too close, his eyes too warm. "Why did you kiss me, Sirius?" 

"I was drunk." 

"Yes. You were." Remus's hand moved down, easing under Sirius's shirt to the flat plane of his stomach, the black triangle of silky rough hair. 

"What're you doing, Moony?" Sirius breathed, his eyes wide, devouring. 

Remus leaned in, closed the slight distance between them. His words brushed Sirius's lips heartbeats before his tongue. "Kissing you back." 

* * * 

Sirius closed his eyes, drowning. Remus's fingers curled, scratching lightly at his stomach as his lips parted, his tongue stole into Sirius's mouth. It was heat and power, firm control as he teased a low moan from deep in Sirius's chest, the quiet, hungry whimper filling the room. 

He pulled back, sucking in cool air, tasting Remus on his lips, his tongue. "Moony," he moaned, his body arching into Remus's touch. 

Remus made a soft sound and moved closer, his hand sliding to Sirius's side, one knee easing between both of Sirius's. His weight shifted, easing away then sinking, pressing. Sriius's breath caught as Remus broke their kiss, his hot breath pooling over the rough stubble on Sirius's cheeks, his jaw. 

Sirius shuddered, his hips colliding upward, seeking out the hard resistance of Remus's body. The sudden gasp at his ear provoked a tremor in both of them, Remus's fingers digging hard in his side. 

Remus's mouth found Sirius's again. He iced Sirius's lips with his tongue, leaving a wet trail to follow. Sirius licked them in response, reaction, only to have his tongue stolen from him as Remus tangled it with his, pulling it into his mouth. The firm suction broke another moan free and Sirius thrust up, wrapping one leg around Remus to hold him still. 

Remus broke the kiss and Sirius's head fell back, exposing the pale column of his throat. Remus's hands slid up his sides, capturing Sirius's hands and guiding them above his head. He moved slowly, carefully, easing his other leg between Sirius's until he lay between them, his golden eyes rimmed black as he thrust gently, the hard slide of his erection smoothing along Sirius's length. 

"Bloody...fuck," Sirius groaned. "Moony." Remus stilled above him, his eyes closing. "What's the matter?" The hard edge of Sirius's voice slid between their bodies, the deliberate cruelty of his tone sharp enough to cut. "Can't pretend I'm Lily if I talk?" 

Without a word, Remus pulled away, climbing off the mattress. His whole body was stiff, pained. When he spoke, it was in a voice Sirius instantly recognized though he'd only heard it once before, the day after he'd sent Snape to the shrieking shack. "Is that what you think?" 

He fell back on bravado, uncertain of what else to do; barely dressed in a t-shirt and boxers, tangled in Remus's sheets. "It's true, isn't it? You're sleeping with her. Her scent...lingers." 

"Get your things and go, Sirius." 

"I'm not going to be how you get over Lily." 

"I asked you to get out." 

Sirius held his ground in the face of Remus's hard determination, reaching a hand out along the mattress. "She's James's fiancee, Remus. How could you..." 

"I was sleeping with her long before James was, Sirius." His shoulders sagged in tired defeat. "Since fifth year." 

"But..." 

"She's cheating on me with James, not the other way around." 

"They're engaged..." 

Remus shook his head. "I need a shower." 

"This conversation's not over." 

Remus didn't respond, simply shed his clothes on his way to the bath, losing himself in the sharp, icy spray. 

**

_"What will you do with him?"_

_"Toss him in the Thames."_

_"Really? Maybe I will tag along." She wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the brisk fall breeze. "James said he thought you two were kissing."_

_"Passing out."_

_"I get the book, don't I?"_

_He smiled. And what will you say to explain werewolf pornography to your soon-to-be husband?"_

_"I'll tell him I fancy one of his friends and I'm sublimating all my lust and desire to steal away with you with literature."_

_"And then what will you say at my funeral?"_

_She laughed, glancing over at Sirius where he was slumped against the wall, a simple spell keeping him upright. "I meant what I said earlier, you know."_

_"That you love me?"_

_She shivered, both of them knowing it had nothing to do with the cold. "About Sirius."_

_"Which part?"_

_She turned away from him, glancing down the street for a taxi. "You deserve someone who loves you. Only you. Sirius would give you that. He'd love you completely. Already does."_

_"Sirius would wholly consume anyone he loved."_

_"Not someone strong. James. You."_

_"Is this what you want, Lily?"_

_She whirled around to face him, her hair flying out around her. "What?"_

_"You want me to be with him?"_

_"You want him," She shrugged away the question. "I've seen it. Want him. Desire him. " She bit her lower lip. "I want you to be happy, Remus. I need that. He could make you happy."_

_"Because you can't?"_

**

The screech of tires had overridden her response, drowned out everything but her emerald eyes, the soft curve of her lips, swollen with sorrow. Remus snapped off the water, leaning his head against the shower stall, gooseflesh covering his entire body, cold seeping through his typically higher temperature. 

"Will you come with me to Andromeda's? Perhaps if she sees that you've forgiven me, she'll be inclined to?" 

Remus pulled the towel free from where he'd hung it over the top of the shower and ruffled it over his hair before shaking the shaggy mess free of any clinging droplets. "Everyone is well aware that I forgive you far too easily." He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower. Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, legs spread, arms along his thighs, head bowed. "You insulted her daughter, Sirius." 

"Last time we were there, the little cheek grabbed your arse." 

Remus leaned against the door jamb. "Jealous, were you?" 

"Hell no." Sirius looked up, his grin impish. "Cost me three galleons to convince her to do it. She welshed on the deal though." 

"Oh?" He crossed his rams over his bare chest, sandy brown hairs clinging damply to them. "How's that?" 

"She was supposed to give me a full report. As it was, she got all starry-eyed and asked me if I thought you liked younger women." He smirked as Remus laughed, waiting until the rare sound had died before speaking. "It's not men, Remus. I don't fancy men. I fancy you. Just you." 

"When we were younger," Remus's voice changed and Sirius suppressed a grin. 

"Yes, Professor?" 

"Before Lily." 

His grin faded and he shifted uncomfortably. 

"I wondered if I did. Was. A poof." He chuckled. "Everyone I seemed to find attractive, look up to, was male. All long, sleek muscles. Power." Sirius shifted on the bed, his eyes moving over Remus's body. "Aesthetically...but I never...and then there was Lily. And girls. Curves and softness and muscles cleverly disguised. But at night..." 

Sirius forced his eyes upward as Remus's voice faded, a glimmer of hope shining in the dark depths. He swallowed. "At night?" 

Remus licked his lips, meeting Sirius's gaze. "I'm not in love with you." 

"Yet," he assured him. 

Remus smiled, shaking his head. "I'll go with you to Andromeda's. But I have to drop something off for Lily." He watched Sirius stiffen. "She's not going to go away, Sirius." 

"But you're not sleeping with her anymore?" 

"I'm not sleeping with anyone." 

Sirius got to his feet and slipped past Remus to the shower. "Yet." 

* * * 

"Remus!" A dirty bundle of gangly appendages flew at Remus, attaching to him in a mammoth hug. "Mum said she saw you last night." She looked over his shoulder and glared at Sirius. "She also said Uncle Sirius was being a right, royal wanker and deserved a long holiday locked in Grimmauld Place." 

Sirius stuck his tongue out at his cousin. She mimicked him, offering a rude hand gesture as well as she disentangled from Remus. 

"I don't know that we should be that cruel to him, eh?" 

"Oh," she caught Remus's hand excitedly, tugging it for attention. "I'm getting better. Watch?" 

He stopped, his lips pressed together tightly to control his grin as she stood in front of him, posing carefully. Sirius ignored them both, bending down to pet the family dog, only looking up as Remus's body tightened, a soft gasp slipping past his lips. 

"That's amazing, Nym...Tonks." 

"What d'you think, Uncle Sirius?" She turned slowly, wearing Lily's face and hair on a changed body, suddenly filling out the baggy clothes. 

"I think one Lily Evans is more than enough. Why don't you stop concentrating on becoming someone else and work to make yourself somewhat tolerable." 

Remus's glare burned him as he straightened, as they watched Lily's features melt into Tonks's, melt into tears as she turned and ran into the house. "That's how you apologize, is it?" 

"It's bad enough you're screwing the real thing, Remus, I don't need..." He stopped, clamping his hand over his mouth. Fury boiled in Remus's eyes, flashing like fire, scorching the air between them. He could feel Remus tensing, his anger fluid between them. "Moony," he whispered in apology. 

"Are you two coming in?" Ted asked from the doorway. "Andromeda's made tea." 

"Has she poisoned Uncle Sirius's?" Tonks's voice came from the open window above the porch. 

"Not yet, darling, but there's still time." 

Sirius had yet to look away from Remus, was watching the iron will wrest control of his anger, tamp it down. "We'll be right in, Ted." 

"Nonsense." Remus turned on his heel and strode toward the door. "We're just coming now." 

* * * 

"I am," Sirius leaned over his cousin's shoulder, his hands resting loosely on her hips, "an unmitigated arse and, no doubt, deserve to be punished and ostracized." 

"You also," she reached back and displaced his hands, "owe me for your stupendous bar tab. James was going to pay it, but I knew he wouldn't ask you for the money back, so I told him I'd do it." 

"How much?" 

"And you owe Tonks an apology. Just because she can look like a woman, it doesn't change the fact that she's just a little girl." 

"I know. I will. I'll apologize." He sighed and glanced at the kitchen table where Remus sat with Ted, pointedly ignoring him. "Don't let him leave, hmm?" 

"Remus? Why would he leave?" 

"I don't...just don't..." He raked his fingers through his hair. "I'll be upstairs." 

He didn't look at Remus as he headed for the stairs, jogging up them and stopping at the first door. He knocked once then opened it, leaning against the door as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

"Go away." 

"I'm afraid I can't. Not until you forgive me." 

"Piss off." 

"Because if you don't forgive me, Remus won't forgive me." 

"You don't deserve to be forgiven. You're a...a right bastard." 

He smiled at her decisive nod. "So, why Lily?" 

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" She shrugged. "Unlike me." 

"You don't think you're beautiful?" 

"Oh yes," she sneered, "I'm just stunning. The only ugly thing the Black family has ever managed to produce." 

"Nym..." 

"That's what your mother said." 

"Well, it's known far and wide that my mother is a bitch of the highest order." 

"They give medals for that sort of thing?" 

Sirius laughed and shook his head, entering the room and sinking down on the floor next to her. "No. Though if they did, my mother would be the most honored woman in their history." He sighed and watched as she stared at her hands, changing their shape from her normal, somewhat thin and short fingers to long, slim, polished ones. "Still fancy Remus then?" 

She flushed, tucking her hands under her arms, refusing to look at him. "No." 

"Can I tell you a secret, Nym?" 

She shifted, her shoulders falling in a careless shrug. "Suppose." 

"It's about Remus." 

Her head lifted and she bit her lower lip, nodding as she mumbled a quiet "Sure." 

"You're not the only one who fancies him." 

Pain flashed in her eyes and she dropped them back to the floor. "Oh." 

"No. No." He sighed out a frustrated breath. "Bugger." 

She giggled softly. "Don't let Mum hear you say that." She looked back up at him, her lips parted on a sigh. "Who is it? That likes him?" 

Sirius's teeth flashed. "Me." 

"You're a boy, Uncle Sirius." 

"I'm well aware of that." 

"But so's Remus." 

"Trust me, I'm well aware of that too." 

"So I don't even stand a chance?" 

He ruffled her hair with gentle fingers. "Dunno 'bout that, my dear. The idiot's taking a chance on me, so he's obviously got no taste." 

"Uncle Sirius!" She bumped into him, her shoulder colliding with his arm. "You're so mean." 

"What?" He looked confused. "It was a compliment. Wasn't it? I meant it as one." He felt a smile curl his lip as she dissolved further into her fit of giggles. "I've no talent for children." When she laughed harder, he gave her a playful shove. "Cheeky brat." 

"It takes one to know one," Remus assured him. They stared at each other for a long time until Remus extended his hand. "Come on, Sirius." 

He smiled and got to his feet, knowing he was forgiven. "Coming, Remus." 

* * * 

"Hello, Lily." 

Lily started, turning quickly and slapping Sirius lightly on the arm. "Sirius! You startled me!" 

"Didn't expect me to be up and about, eh?" He winked at her. "Figured I'd still be in bed?" 

"I knew Remus would make sure you were all right before he left." 

Sirius moved closer, dropping his voice so that it stayed between them. "He didn't leave." 

"Oh." Her eyebrow lifted into a smooth arc, no other emotion marring her bland expression. "My mistake." 

He was about to answer when he heard Remus's voice. He took a step back, distancing himself from Lily. "Over here, Remus." 

"Blotts said she was in the stack somewhere," Remus muttered as he turned the corner. "Have you seen her, Sirius?" 

He caught Remus's hand and pulled him forward, lacing their fingers together rather than releasing him as he guided Remus in front of him. "The soon-to-be Mrs. Potter at your service." 

"Ah." He glanced at her then at Sirius, flexing his grip. Sirius's smile widened, but he refused to let go, despite Remus's glare. "Hello, Lily." 

"Remus." She smiled, the warmth in it fading as she looked at Sirius. "I take it you managed to get the drunken idiot home last night?" 

"Mostly. He's got a few new bruises." 

"And you told me those were from this morning," Sirius purred his teeth nipping at Remus's ear. "Liar." 

"Sirius." Remus jerked away, his golden eyes heated. "Give us a moment, would you?" 

He opened his eyes wide, innocently. "Of course." He grinned and leaned forward. "Do behave yourselves." 

"You're one to talk, "Remus hissed quietly as Sirius moved away. He lifted his arm to the back of his neck, rubbing at the hard knot that had formed there. "I'm sorry." 

"I'm just grateful he didn't piss all over the books while he was marking his territory." She shook her head. "Do you trust him not to tell James?" 

"I didn't volunteer the information," he reminded her softly. 

"I know." She sighed and bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Remus." 

He released his neck, moving his hand to hers, trapping warmth there, tendrils of dark red hair slipping out of her loose bun and falling over his fingers. They stood in silence for a few moments, the ache of longing vibrating between them. 

"We'll come by tonight." She whispered the words. "You didn't get your presents." 

"That would be fine." His hand moved slowly, rubbing her silky skin. He closed his eyes as she moaned. "Speaking of presents, I have one for you." 

"Oh?" She turned her head, careful not to dislodge his hand. She bit her lip, her green eyes searching his, their bodies too close. 

"Yes." The word was almost a promise, his lips brushing hers. Before the kiss could change, deepen, he wrenched away from her. Sucking in a deep breath, he released it on a half-sob. "I'm sorry." 

She shook her head, not speaking. She pressed her fingers to her mouth, staring at the floor. "What is it?" Her voice cracked. "My present?" 

Remus dug a small package from the pocket of his coat and handed it to her, his own hand shaking. Hers matched the slight tremor as she accepted it. "It's..." 

"Ssh." She shook her head and turned it over, unwrapping the rough brown paper. The book fell into her hands and she laughed, the sound milky. "Oh, Remus." 

"I..." 

"It's not fair." 

He was shocked by the anger in her tone, the hard vehemence. "What?" 

"This. All of this." Her knuckles whitened as she clutched the book. "You. Him." 

"Lily." 

"Don't," she snapped. "Don't give me platitudes or logic right now, Remus. Don't give me that damn stoic acceptance. I know you can be mad, be passionate. Tell me, are you even put out by any of this? Or is going from me to Sirius just that simple for you?" 

"You're marrying James," he reminded her flatly. "You dated him, you slept with him, you accepted his proposal. You're marrying him." 

"And what other choice did I have, Remus? What choice did you give me? 'Don't tell anyone, Lily. You don't want to be seen with me. You don't want to be tainted with what I am'." 

"It didn't have to be James." 

Her voice was soft, matter-of-fact. "It did." 

"You love James." 

"And you love Sirius? Is that the implication here? Insinuating that I was just a stand-in until you got brave enough to admit you wanted to be shagging your best friend instead of someone else's fiancee?" 

"That's not..." 

"Keep the book." She shoved it into his stomach and whirled around, storming away. It fell at his feet and he bent to pick it up, slumping to the floor instead, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the rack. 

* * * 

"What's the matter?" Sirius purred. "Lovers' spat?" 

Lily's eyes were sharp enough to cut. "Get out." 

"I'm a paying customer, love." He held up a book in his hand. "Don't think your bosses would appreciate your cavalier treatment of me." 

"Fine then, Mr. Black, how may I help you?" She ground the words through her clenched teeth. 

"Stay away from Moony." 

She held his dark eyes. "What?" 

"Stay away from Remus." 

"I championed your fucking cause, Sirius," she sneered. "Let's not forget that." 

"You did, didn't you?" He reached out and touched her cheek softly. "Why is that, exactly?" 

"I want him to be happy," she choked. 

Sirius caught her chin and held it, his eyes surprisingly gentle. "You do, don't you?" 

"Yes." She cleared her throat, cleared the tears from her voice. "And even though you're a complete and utter prat, you love him." 

"I do," he agreed, his voice quiet, earnest. 

She pulled away from his touch as if it suddenly pained her. "So don't do anything to fuck it up." 

Sirius stood silently in front of her for a long moment. "Can I ask you something?" 

"I'd rather you didn't." 

"About James." 

Lily sighed. "What?" 

"If you're in love with Remus, why're you with James?" He glanced back to where Remus was still in the stacks. "Why not let all of us know about it when it began?" 

"Despite whatever it is that you think, Sirius, Remus and I haven't dated since before I ever went out with James. I love James." 

"I know that," Sirius assured her. "Otherwise you'd not be marrying him. I'd make sure of that." 

Lily nodded brusquely. "Are we done?" 

"Not a snitch's chance against Gryffindor," Sirius told her. "But we're done for now." 

* * * 

"Happy birthday again, mate." James handed Remus a case of Guinness. "Lily's got the real present." 

"Thanks." Remus gave him a weak smile, handing the case to Sirius as he walked up to them. They'd barely spoken since that afternoon. Sirius had walked over to him and helped him to his feet. They'd stepped out of Flourish and Blotts, Apparated to Remus's flat and proceeded to ignore each other in the small space. 

"You want one?" Sirius asked, breaking one out and offering it. Remus took it as Sirius offered another one to James before carrying the rest into the kitchen. 

James followed him. "What's going on?" 

"Nothing." 

"Ah, so that explains the crackling tension in the room." He hoisted himself up onto the counter. "You two fighting?" 

"No." 

"You're fighting. Is it about last night?" James opened his drink. "Your amazing show of drunken vitriol?" 

"I overstepped my bounds," Sirius turned around, watching Remus as he opened the door for Peter and Lily. 

James's eyebrow shot up. "You told him?" 

"He knows." Sirius took a drink. 

"You passed out in his arms. Probably gave him a clue." James kicked at a dust mote. "You okay?" 

"Yeah." 

"Does he..." 

Sirius shrugged as Peter walked toward them. "I'm not sure." He fished another Guinness out of the pack and tossed it to Peter. "Lily? You want one?" 

"No, thank you." She moved over to James, smiling as she settled between his parted legs, and he wrapped his arms over her shoulders. She glanced at Remus, standing beside the couch, leaning against it. "Happy birthday, Remus." 

"Thank you." 

"Molly's made a cake. Bill's supposed to bring it by." Peter smiled, the grin fading as he seemed to think. "I hope that's all right." 

"Of course." Remus smiled and shifted uncomfortably, the air thick with anticipation. 

"How's your head, Sirius?" Peter chuckled. 

"Better than yours, even drunk," Sirius laughed, giving Peter a playful cuff on the shoulder. "What say we put Remus out of his misery and let him open his presents?" 

Peter drug a rumpled package from the pocket of his robes and held it out. "It's not much." 

"Thank you, Peter." Remus unwrapped the package, his stomach grumbling at the sight of chocolate frogs and sugar quills. 

"Not practical or anything." Peter's face flushed pink. "But they're from Honeydukes. Went to Hogsmeade the other day, special." 

"Thank you again, Peter. If Bill doesn't show up with Molly's cake, we'll have them." He set them on the telephone stand, moving the phone over, the slight jingle jarring his nerves. 

"We don't have a gift, I was lying." James admitted, his eyes dancing. "You''ll just have to live with the Guinness." 

"That's..." 

"James." Lily rolled her eyes and moved away from his embrace, taking a step toward Remus. His hands tightened on the back of the couch, but he didn't move away. "He's lying, of course. We have a perfectly nice present for you." 

"Meaning she picked it out, bought it and I'm taking the credit for it." James kicked off the counter and walked to the door. Grabbing the air beside it, he whipped off the invisibility cloak. "Happy birthday, mate." 

Remus followed him to the door. There were two leather satchels, large enough to be suitcases. "You shouldn't have." 

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course we should. Only the finest for your many travels." James put his arm around Remus. "Only yours with the caveat that you always remember where home is." 

"And remember to come home," Lily added. 

"And loan them to us for the honeymoon." 

Remus glanced at Lily and swallowed, his mouth twitching with the hint of a smile as he avoided her eyes. "Thank you. Really. I don't..." 

"Accio present!" 

They all turned at Sirius's voice. A box floated toward him and he directed it to Remus with his wand. They held eyes, Remus searching the unreadable depths. "Sirius." 

"Happy birthday, Remus." 

Remus caught the box and held it for a second before opening it. He pulled out another smaller case, identical to the set from Lily and James. The leather shone as he turned it over in his hands, stopping as he noticed a gleam of gold. His fingers traced over the words slowly. 

"Professor Remus J. Lupin," Sirus said softly. "Happy birthday, Moony." 

"Sirius." 

Sirius shook his head as he walked up to Remus. He stopped in front of him and reached out, touching Remus's lips with gentle fingers. They stood there unmoving for a moment before Sirius bent his head, brushing Remus's lips with his own. "Happy birthday, Moony." 

Remus swallowed, his eyes closing as Sirius deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into Remus's mouth, stealing a flickering taste. Remus made a soft sound as Sirius pulled back, stumbling slightly. 

"Since when are you two poofs?" Peter's voice broke through Remus's haze. 

Sirius smiled, his eyes practically glowing with mischeivous intent. "Always, Peter. Haven't you noticed the way we look at you?" 

Peter glanced at Remus then at Sirius, backing to the couch and sitting down as he finally looked at James. "Did you know 'bout this?" 

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at James. "Go ahead and tell him the truth, Prongs." He turned his grin to Remus, letting it fade as he looked past him to the frozen pain on Lily's face. "Peter's a big boy. He can take it." 

"Well, Peter," James moved toward the coach, his smile widening as Peter's eyes did. 

Remus bit his lower lip then swept his tongue over it, glancing at Lily out of the corner of his eye as Sirius looked back toward James and Peter. She was still against the door, her hands clasped together in front of her, her eyes on Sirius. As he watched, she wiped her hands on her skirt and shook her head, pushing away from the wall. 

He started to speak, her name catching in his throat. He glanced toward the couch, felt Sirius's eyes on him and started again, stopping this time as the fireplace crackled with green flames and a tumble of red hair came through the sparking hearth. 

"It's a Weasley invasion!" James cried as he leapt over the sofa, barely missing trampling Percy. He stopped short as more redheads came through. Charlie and Bill moved toward Sirius, already talking as Percy stood up, moving out of the way as Molly came through carrying a large cake, followed by Arthur carrying the squirming twins. 

"Happy birthday, Mr. Lupin." Remus looked down as Percy's serious face as he tugged on his pants. 

"Thank you, Mr. Weasley." 

Molly set the cake down and bustled over, kissing Remus on the cheek. "Happy birthday, Remus. You're still too thin. Come have some cake." 

"It really wasn't necessary, Molly." 

"Rubbish. Now, Professor Dumbledore and a few of the others should be along soon, but you need a piece now, because I insist on seeing you eat it." She swept past him and moved to Lily's side. "Come along, Lily. I need your help to ward off all the male egos." 

Lily smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes, and followed Molly, moving carefully past Remus, refusing to meet his gaze. 

* * * 

"That," Sirius flopped down onto the couch with an exhausted sigh, "was far too many people." 

"In far too small a place," James agreed, kicking his feet up onto the table. "but Molly's cake was delicious." 

"The twins certainly took to Moony." Sirius tilted his head to look back into the kitchen where Remus was saying goodbye to the last of the guests. 

"I believe you're swooning." James opened another Guinness. "Peter acts as though you've some contagious disease." 

"Peter's just re-evaluating his crush on you, wondering if he has enough time to steal you away from Lily." 

"Do let him know that time's growing short." 

"He left early, didn't he?" 

"Some job he's working on for the Order, most likely." James shrugged. He scratched at a stain on his knee as he took a drink, carefully avoiding Sirius's gaze. "You're going to pursue this then?" 

"Yeah." Sirius glanced toward the bedroom where Lily was asleep, curled on the mattress as if she owned it, belonged there. 

"And you think he's...I'd be a bit unnerved, personally. Friendship and all that on the line. Besides, you really think Moony's interested in blokes?" 

"I hope not. I hope he's solely interested in me." Sirius grinned. "Don't worry, Prongs. Remus and I will be fine." He glanced back again to find Remus's golden eyes watching him. "Just fine." 

* * * 

Remus sighed and brushed a too-long lock of hair from his face with thin, delicate fingers. Exhaustion darkened his features as he shifted his briefcase from one hand to the other. 

"Moony." James fell in step beside him, his hands held behind his back. 

Remus glanced over at him, his expression wry. "Why, hello, James. What brings you out here?" 

"We're going to chat." 

"We are." 

"Yes. And when we reach the Leaky Cauldron, we're going to pretend that we've just happened to run into each other." 

"I take it Sirius doesn't know you're here." 

"Sirius would most likely beat me to death with a bludger were he to even suspect I was here." 

"I take that to mean we're not going to be discussing wedding plans?" 

"No." James stopped walking, waiting for Remus to do the same. "I need to know what's going on, Moony." 

Remus faced him, his eyes serious, almost hard. "Did you want details, Prongs?" 

"You're both my friends, Remus." 

"Ah. But when it comes down to it, your loyalty and protections lie with Sirius?" 

"That's not what I said." 

"You didn't have to, James." Remus shook his head. "I'm not having this conversation in the middle of the street." He started walking again, not glancing back to see if James was following. 

* * * 

"Coffee. Black, please." Remus ignored James's cringe as he settled at the table in the small shop Remus had entered. "Last night was a full moon." 

"Oh. Right." He dug into his pocket and tossed Remus a chocolate bar. "Lily reminded me. I thought you carried it with you." 

"It's been a bad day. I ran out." Remus watched the waitress move behind the counter as James worked a napkin free of the holder and began to dissect it into small, fluttering pieces. "So. You think I'm not good enough for him." 

James's head jerked up. "No. No, Moony. I never said that." 

"It's not what you've said that I'm concerned with, James, so much as what you think. Are you warning me off him?" 

"I just..." James blew out his breath as the waitress set their cups between them. "He's wanted you for a long time. I'm just a bit worried that you're feelings for him aren't as...involved." 

"Am I just experimenting? Is that it?" 

"People do that. Your age. Our age." 

"And you think I'm just using Sirius to scratch a new itch?" 

James reached across the table and grabbed Remus's hand as he reached for his coffee cup. "Stop putting words in my mouth, Remus." he felt the muscles tighten under his fingers and released Remus. "I don't want either of you to get hurt." 

"I see." 

"And I'm worried." 

"About?" There was a dangerous bite in Remus's voice as he stirred sugar into his coffee. 

"I'm worried that you might be tempted to...use this." James's voice grew weaker with every word under Remus's glare. "Revenge for what happened..." 

Remus stood up quickly, his coffee spilling over the table. He grabbed his briefcase and strode toward the door. 

"Remus!" James grabbed napkins, tossing them on the expanding puddle of dark liquid. "Fuck." Pulling several bills from his pocket, he threw them onto the table and headed out after Remus. He saw him at the end of the street, leaning against the graying stone. He stopped beside him, breathless. 

"He tried to make me a killer. Not on purpose, or so he says, right? 'Just a prank, Remus'. I live with what I am and what I become every day, James. If I'm with Sirius, it is in spite of that night, that nightmare, certainly not because of it, not matter what twisted spin you put on it." 

"I don't want him to be hurt." 

"But apparently I'm fair game?" 

"You could have a thousand champions, Remus. Sirius has no one else." 

Remus closed his eyes and tilted his face up toward the sun. "I have no intention of hurting him." 

"What about the girl?" 

His body tightened, tensed defensively. "What girl?" 

"Sirius said you were seeing someone. A woman. Said it was something." 

"Are we back to asking if I'm going through some sort of sexual experimentation phase?" Remus realized they were still standing there and began walking. "Or if I'm just a repressed homosexual?" 

"I'm asking...I don't know what I'm asking. Or what I'm doing, for that matter. I think I should have had Lily do this." 

"This girl." Remus cleared his throat, his grip tightening on the handle of his case. "It's the person, James. That's where my interest lies. Not the sex. Or the sexual preference." 

James nodded, considering. He was silent for a long time, matching his strides to Remus's steady ones. "Sirius and I snogged a bit back in school. Just to see what it was about, you know? What it was like?" 

"And?" 

James shrugged then grinned wickedly as they approached The Leaky Cauldron. "He enjoyed it more than I did, I think. Which isn't to say I didn't enjoy it." 

Remus's eyebrow cocked up sharply. "And?" 

James shook his head and opened the door to the pub, heading for their regular table. "I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise." 

* * * 

Sirius walked beside Remus, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "You're being quiet tonight." 

"Thinking." 

"About?" 

"The past few days." Remus stopped as they reached his flat, fingering the keys in his pocket. 

"About Lily?" 

He closed his eyes at the hint of pain, of jealousy in Sirius's voice. "About you, actually." 

"And what about me?" 

"I can't be with you if you're going to hold my feelings for Lily against me. I cannot and would not change what she and I shared. But it's over." 

"Is it?" 

"She's marrying James. We'll always love each other, Sirius, but it is over." 

"Because you say it is?" 

"Because I say it is," Remus nodded. Sirius watched him, his face a mask. "And because I have to stop holding on to what I can't have. And concentrate on who I can." Without another word, he reached out and pulled Sirius against him. "Do you know what I want, Sirius? Who I want?" He turned them both, pinning Sirius to the wall. "Do you?" 

Sirius shivered at the softly whispered words. "I want to believe you, Moony." 

"I could convince you." 

His husky chuckle sent a frission of desire down Sirius's spine. "James mentioned that he told you about us." He slid his hands up Remus's chest, clutching at the material before forcing him away. 

"So?" 

"So is it me? Or is it because, like Lily, I'm something James has?" Sirius didn't wait for an answer, brushing past Remus before Disapparating, leaving him alone in the silence. 

* * * 

"Should I be worried?" Lily asked, leaning down to kiss James on the top of his head. "The last time the four of you were alone with large amounts of alcohol, it took three weeks for all the damage reports to come in." 

"That was graduation. That was different," Sirius insisted. "That was a send off. Our last big hurrah." 

"I may be mistaken, Sirius..." 

"She always says that when she knows she's not," James whispered loudly. 

Lily ignored him grandly. "But I'm fairly sure that's the very definition of a bachelor party." 

"That was our last chance to torture all the other houses. Tonight James is the only one who, hereafter, will be lost to us." 

"Does that mean I'm to be rid of you after the wedding?" She clasped her hands together as if in prayer. "Should I offer up my thanks now?" 

"I think Lily's disparaging us." 

"You." 

Sirius looked wounded. "How can you marry this wretched, cruel woman?" 

"It's really only you, Sirius," James assured him. "She thinks you're a bad influence." 

"Me? Me?" He did his best to look offended. "I am the soul of innocence." He grinned at Lily's raised eyebrow and James's sudden coughing fit. "At least, I am in the Black family." 

"Given who else is in the Black family, Sirius, that really isn't saying much at all." 

He grabbed Lily's hand and tugged, pulling her down onto his lap. He leaned against her, batting his lashes as he looked up at her. "Do say you don't hate me, Lily." 

"Let me go, Sirius." 

"No." He rubbed his cheek against her shoulder, his eyes plaintive. "Not until I know you don't hate me." 

"I don't." 

"Say it like you mean it." 

She struggled in his deceptively loose grip, laughing. "Sirius, please. I promise I don't hate you." She glared at James. "You could rescue me." 

"The last time I offered to rescue you, you didn't speak to me for a week. As we're getting married in less than that, I think it's prudent for me to stay out of all this." 

"He's manhandling me." 

"Now see," James looked thoughtful, "I'd say he looks more like he's tickling you." 

Lily let out a shriek as Sirius's fingers teased her sides, egged on by James's laughter. She writhed on his lap, laughing and begging for mercy, her eyes emerald-bright with simple joy. 

The sharp crack brought silence down. Sirius's hands stilled, grasping Lily's waist to keep her from falling. Remus took in the tableau. "Well, I certainly never took you for a voyeur, James." 

"Oh yes. Nothing does me in quite as much as watching Lily on another man's lap. You want a turn?" 

Remus's eyebrow rose slightly. "As much as I appreciate the offer, I'm afraid I'll have to turn it down. However, Peter should, no doubt, be along any minute, if you'd like to offer him a go." 

Lily slipped off Sirius's lap. "I think I'll pass. On everyone's lap all the same." She moved to the couch, carefully not looking at Remus. 

James smiled at her, reaching over for her hand. "So, you do have a night of pure debauchery planned, correct?" He released Lily's hand to rub his together in anticipation. "Alcohol? Naked women? Humiliating any Slytherins we happen upon?" 

"We're just going to the pub, James." Remus shrugged. "I doubt there'll be any nudity. Unless Hagrid's there and has too much BubbleBourbon again." 

They all shuddered. James got to his feet, helping Lily to hers. "All right, Lils. Looks as though they've no plans to sell me into slavery or anything." Concern darkened his features. "You'll be all right?" 

"I'll be fine." 

"It's getting darker," he reminded her softly, his tone indicating he meant nothing about the setting sun. 

"As soon as I'm rid of you lot, I'm off to the Weasley's. Alice Longbottom and I are working on wedding plans with Molly." 

"Babysitting, are you?" He curved his hand over her cheek. "Practicing for someday?" 

"Go on with your debauchery." She shoved him gently then pulled him back in for a soft kiss on tiptoe. "And please, don't do anything Sirius would do." 

"Even I'm not as bad as all that." He kissed her again and pulled away. "You blokes ready? Where's Peter?" 

Sirius was staring at Remus's cool, controlled expression. "We'll leave a note on the door. It's not as if we're going someplace unknown." He unfurled himself from the chair. "He can meet us there." 

James started to join them, stopped as Lily tightened her grip on his hands. "No naked women." 

"None?" 

"Well, you can look. But if you touch…just remember I actually passed my Potions O.W.L.s." She glanced away from him, smiling. "Try not to break him, Sirius. I want him all in one piece for the wedding." 

"I promise you'll be able to hide anything unsightly or unseemly beneath his dress robes." He grinned back at her, stopping beside Remus. Holding her eyes for a moment, he grinned wider, barely noticing the stiffening of Remus's body beside him as she slid her arm possessively around James's waist. "We'll meet you there then, Prongs." 

"Meet me? But...?" He caught his breath as Lily reached up to kiss him. "Yes. Ah. Later then." 

* * * 

Remus adjusted his robe carefully as he leaned against the wall, waiting for Sirius to Apparate. The sharp cracking to his left drew him up to his full height. Sirius stood there, staring at him, curiousity in his eyes. "Does it bother you? That she's with him? That even when we're all together, she's with him?"   
"Yes. And no. I pushed her away, toward him. I knew I could barely offer her a man, much less a life. I wanted her to have everything she deserved." 

"So what does that say about me? That you want me?" 

"Encouraging her with James had nothing to do with wanting her. Besides," Remus met Sirius's black eyes, "it's a rather moot point, isn't it? You've made it clear that you don't trust my motives or my intentions." 

"I trust your desire." 

"And I'm not interested in someone to fuck, Sirius. I want more." When Sirius didn't respond, Remus turned sharply on his heel. "I need a drink." 

* * * 

The door to the Leaky Cauldron swung open forcefully. Most patrons ignored it. Peter squeaked and shot out of his chair, not glancing back at the chair opposite his as it skittered across the floor. 

"Remus!" He hurried over to the door, sidling up to his friend. "Where've you been?" 

"At James and Lily's. Waiting for you." Remus glanced toward the door then strode to the bar. "Did you get a table?" 

Peter's eyes cut to the one he'd just been at and he nodded. "Yes. Er, yes. I know how busy it can get, so I got here early and held one." He grabbed the chair he'd knocked over and glanced around as Remus headed for the bar. He righted it and hurried after him. "Where're James and Sirius?" 

"On their way." 

Peter glanced back at the door then at Remus, his hazel eyes practically glowing. "You all right?" 

"Fine," he whipped his head and snarled then shook it, his eyes closed, missing Peter's horrified gaze. He took a deep breath and let it out in a low sigh. "I'm sorry, Peter. I'm fine." 

"Sirius upset you?" 

One eyebrow curved. "What makes you say that?" 

Peter shrugged. "He's the only one of us that makes you lose your cool. Normally, you're the epitome of quiet reserve. Make the rest of us look like emotional idiots." 

Remus let out a bark of laughter. "Is that what I do?" He turned back toward the bar as the bartender approached. "What are you having, Peter?" 

"Oh, er, I'll buy this round, Remus. You want your usual?" He gestured toward the table. "Go have a seat." 

"You're sure?" 

"Yeah. I got a…a bonus at work this week. I'm flush with galleons." He grinned. "Go sit down." 

Remus shrugged and turned back toward the table Peter had pointed out. There was no movement at the door and he blew out his breath. "What the hell are you doing, Lupin?" He asked himself quietly, sinking down into one of the empty chairs. He could see Sirius's figure through the grimy glass, pacing the sidewalk in front of the pub. "You've completely gone 'round the bend." 

"Talking to yourself, Lupin? How…charming." 

Remus looked up at the familiar voice, the silky disgust that always dusted the words sharper, more defined. "Hello, Severus. You're quite a ways from your regular stomping grounds, aren't you? Or have you lost favor with the Malfoys?" 

"I'm sorry, your wit seems to have fallen short. I'm merely here for a drink." Snape ran his hand along the back of Lupin's chair. "I don't suppose you'd care to join me? I know people who would be interested in becoming acquainted with you." 

"And I'm sure that I have no interest in knowing anyone you feel would be interested in knowing me." Remus smirked. "Of course, if you actually knew me, you'd be well aware of that fact." 

"I know enough about you, Lupin." His voice dropped, the disgust gone, the tone now laced with promise. "I know what you're capable of." 

"No," Remus shook his head, met Snape's eyes defiantly. "I'm absolutely sure that you don't." 

"Well, now, Remus." Sirius's sharp voice brought Snape's head up sharply. "Consorting with the enemy, are you?" Remus didn't respond as Peter walked up, nearly stumbling at the sight of Snape. The tray of pints in his hands trembled and threatened to fall, stopped only by Sirius's swift hands. "Steady on, Peter." 

"I…er…it's Snape," he noted, his voice shrill. 

"Yes. Bored with his own friends so he's come to irritate mine, apparently." 

"You flatter yourself, Black. As always." 

"Fortunately for me, Snivellus, it's not necessary that I flatter myself. Which is more than we can say for you, isn't it?" 

"Sirius," Remus sighed. "Enough. Snape was just on his way, I'm sure." 

"You know nothing of what I am," Snape assured him in a low voice, his eyes bright. "I'll leave you to your friends, Lupin, since it appears low humor is more to your taste than high intellect." 

Sirius watched him stride away, barely stifling his laughter as he slid onto one of the chairs, snagging a pint off the tray Peter still held. "Low humor," he chuckled, his voice an uncanny parody of Snape's. "Really, Moony, I have some reservations about you if you're prone to attract the riff-raff." 

"Which one would say is obvious, given that you're swooning over me." He took a pint from Peter as well as the other man finally sat down, his eyes constantly straying toward the door as Snape moved through it without a backward glance. "But a man is thankfully not judged by the people who want him, but by the people he wants." 

"I rather think it's more meaningful the other way around." Sirius sniffed. "And much less likely to damage my fragile ego." 

"About the only thing fragile about you, Sirius, is your skull." Remus held up his glass. "To the groom, whenever he gets here, eh?" 

"Whenever he finishes shagging his woman," Sirius lifted his glass in toast, his eyes holding Remus's, daring him to react. 

"You're a bastard, Black." 

"I like to think of myself more as a roguish charmer." 

"Euphemisms don't change the underlying meaning." Remus took a long drink. "Peter? You all right?" 

"What?" He started and jerked his gaze back to Remus. "What? Oh, yes. Just thinking…I mean, about Snape being here. Odd that, isn't it?" 

"It's not his usual haunt, no." 

Peter nodded thoughtfully. "Wonder why he was here." 

"Perhaps he wanted to wish James the best in his new life," Sirius suggested. "Put aside all those years of hatred and spite and just be the better man." He paused, took a sip from his glass then shook his head. "Or, more likely, he came to poison us all." 

"You're a bundle of good cheer, aren't you, Padfoot?" 

"You're the one who left me standing outside in the dark, Remus." 

"You're the one operating under the assumption that I'm only interested in you because," he broke off as James came in the door, his face flushed, his body moving languidly. Remus swallowed hard and settled on glaring at Sirius as a slow smirk slid across his face. 

"What's the matter, Moony?" He whispered softly as he slid from his seat to the one next to Remus, leaving his vacated spot for James. "It bother you to know he's just come from shagging the woman you love?" 

"I don't know, Sirius," Remus's eyes were flashing as he turned them on his friend. "Does it bother you to know that I'll be thinking of her should I ever get around to shagging you?" 

Sirius sucked in a harsh breath as Remus stood. "Where are you going?" 

"I need another drink." 

* * * 

James stumbled to the door behind Peter, carefully guiding the younger man to his flat. Sirius watched them through the window of the cab for a moment before daring to turn his eyes toward Remus. "I was out of line." 

"You're always out of line." 

He nodded, watching the stiff line of Remus's posture. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, his eyes hooded and unreadable. "I'm horrifically jealous of a girl," Sirius offered quietly. "It's a little unsettling." 

"That's what's unsettling?" 

"Well, and the fact that, for several years now I've had this unspoken fantasy of shagging one of my best friends and now that I've actually spoken it, I've apparently fucked it all up beyond repair." 

Remus was silent for a long time, his gaze turned toward James who was trying to help Peter insert the key into the lock. "Nothing is beyond repair, Sirius." 

"She has a piece of you no one else ever can, Remus." 

Remus laughed softly, almost sadly, "So do you, Padfoot. So do you." 

Sirius sank back in his seat, staring at Remus in dawning wonder. "Oh." 

"Yes," Remus nodded, a smile curving his lips as Sirius reached forward and grabbed his arm, tugging him across the small space to fall onto the seat next to him. Sirius held his eyes hotly, something wicked and promising burning in them. Remus felt the heat of Sirius's breath, smelled the rough pungency of desire. "Oh." 

* * * 

"We've run out of money," James declared as he tugged Sirius from the cab. "So you're just going to have to stay here. As Lily isn't home. I don't think Lily's home." He turned and looked at the dark house and put his hands to his mouth. "Lily!" 

"James! Shh!" Remus stumbled out of the cab, nearly tripping over Sirius as he sprawled on the ground. "Stop shouting." He flipped through the bills in his pocket and pushed them at the cab driver. "Bachelor party." 

"That's right!" James nodded vigorously as he bent down to help Sirius to his feet, nearly falling over in the process. "I am a bachelor. For one more night only. Enjoy the veal." 

"Is Lily home?" Sirius asked, managing to make his way to his knees. He swayed slightly and reached out, his hand clutching in Remus's jacket. "I do love Lily. I should apologize for being such a bastard to her. Why'm I such a bastard to her, Remus?" 

Remus disengaged Sirius's hand and helped him to his feet. "Because you have no tact, no human feeling and are an outright arse." 

"Oh yes." Sirius nodded. "I knew it was a very valid reason." 

"We drank too much," James decided, nodding so hard he nearly tumbled over. "What was that stuff?" 

"Tequila." 

"I think it's evil. Dark lord kind of evil. We must find some again soon." 

"If it's that evil, I'm sure my parents are making money from it in some capacity. Perhaps if I express an interest, they'll forgive me for taking up with you lot, eh?" 

"Your parents will never forgive you for taking up with us, Sirius," James poked him hard in the chest. "As they shouldn't. Look at what we've done to you. Turned a cruel, heartless, good looking young man into a whimpering, simpering, poofing, mockery of your former self. You could probably defeat over half of Voldemort's gathering forces simply by gathering your family together and telling them that you're shagging a male werewolf. I bet the majority of them would die of shock, embarrassment or humiliation. It'd be brilliant." He looked curiously at Remus. "No offense, Moony." 

"I'm sure there's none taken." They all three turned at Lily's voice, Sirius and James holding onto one another for support. "After all, Remus is no doubt used to your being a complete bastard by now, don't you think?" 

"I'm not a bastard!" James pouted. "I'm perfectly legitimate." 

"A legitimate bastard," Remus muttered under his breath. 

"Come on, Remus, let's leave these heathens outside and we'll go in and have a nice chat." She wound her arm through his and smiled up at him. His eyes narrowed and he sniffed the air delicately, shaking his head. "Oh, don't start," she whispered to him. "It was just a bit of wine. We were celebrating. Seems Molly and Alice are both pregnant." 

"Pregnant, eh?" James caught Lily around the waist and swung her around. "In that case, you and I should get busy practicing so that we can make them some playmates, eh?" 

"James!" She gasped as he set her down, still holding her tightly against him as they both stumbled. Remus caught them, his hands slightly too tight on Lily's arms. She made a soft sound and he released her, stepping back. "We don't have any practicing to do." 

Remus bit the inside of his lip hard as James stared at Lily with growing comprehension. His loud whoop of joy echoed through the neighborhood, causing lights to flicker all around them. "Did you hear that, Sirius?" James released Lily and caught his best friend around the neck, ruffling his hair. "You're going to be a godfather!" 

Doors opened in a few houses and James released Sirius, rushing forward to shake the hands of several sleepy neighbors. Sirius smiled after him for a moment, listening as James introduced himself as "nearly married, wife's pregnant". After a second, he turned his head, his eyes falling on Remus. 

Remus shook his head, his smile thin but genuine. "Congratulations, Lily." He didn't touch her, simply bowed his head slightly. "You must be delighted." 

"Remus, I…" She stopped as she noticed Sirius edging closer, his attention focused hotly on them. "Thank you." 

James joined them again, grabbing Remus's hand and pumping it in a particularly vigorous shake. "James Potter." 

"We've met." 

"My wife to be is pregnant." 

"So I've heard." 

"Mustn't tell anyone, as she's wearing white to the wedding. Wouldn't want anyone to think her a scarlet woman." 

"James, they've assumed you've bedded her, since we know it has to be the sex, not the personality that attracted her." Sirius nudged him hard, away from Remus and toward Lily. "Because she's known you far too long to think you're clever. Or amusing." He paused. "As have we. Moony? Why on earth do we hang with this bastard?" 

"Either we've bad taste, or he's shagging us as well." 

"Shagging." Sirius snapped his fingers. "I knew there was a reason." He looped his arm around Remus's neck. "It seems almost a shame, doesn't it?" 

"What is that?" Remus's voice was wary, the glance he cast at Sirius from the corner of his eye suspicious. 

"Well, here they are, bursting with good and unexpected news and what've they got to celebrate with? I mean, as much of an exhibitionist as you'd expect a Quidditch player of James's stature to be, I doubt he's going to want to show Lily exactly how happy he is with the news when he's got the two of us lying about in his living room." 

"Couldn't care less, mate," James assured him. 

"And you, Moony, I know there's no way I'm getting you naked if we've got a lady in a delicate condition on the other side of the door." He kissed Remus's cheek with a loud smack. "So what say we leave these two alone to their amorous adventures." 

"And go have a few of your own?" Lily asked, her eyebrow cocked, her mouth in a thin smile. 

"If I'm lucky." Sirius looked at Remus, his black eyes no longer glinting with mischief so much as promise. "Am I to get lucky, Moony?" 

"As we're out of money and you've just volunteered us for a good three mile trek back to my flat?" He raised an eyebrow and gave Sirius a telling smile. "I do so doubt it, Padfoot." 

"Damn." 

* * * 

Sirius walked beside him silently, surprisingly sober. They were nearly at Remus's flat when he finally spoke. "Did you know?" 

Remus's steady steps slowed then ceased and he tilted his head back, staring up at the night sky for a long moment before releasing a pent up breath. He watched the steam spiral above him then dissipate into the cool air. "No." 

Sirius watched him with veiled eyes, letting them run down Remus's body then back up. "It must have hurt." 

"Why do you say that?" 

Sirius shrugged and leaned against the brick wall behind him. "Girl you love's not only marrying some other bloke, but she's carrying his baby. That's got to sting a bit." 

"And does it bother you?" 

"That she hurt you?" Sirius asked dangerously. 

"James has been your best friend since the day you set foot inside Hogwarts. Does it bother you that he's moving on with his life, doing all the things he's supposed to do - get married, start a family - and you're running in place? Barely working, out drinking every night, stumbling along under the realization that you're interested in shagging a bloody werewolf…" 

Sirius moved quickly, taking Remus by surprise. He pinned him to the alley wall and held him there, his black eyes fathomless. "You think this is about James? Losing one best friend so I'm substituting him with you?" Sirius snarled the words, hurt and anger in his tone. "Just because I'm your new Lily…" 

Remus shoved Sirius hard, sending him stumbling and sprawling onto the ground. His face was feral and hard, dangerous. For a second, Sirius froze, seeing through the façade of control, a glimmer of what Severus had faced beneath the Whomping Willow speeding his heart. "You're not Lily." Remus reached down and gathered Sirius's shirt in his hand, yanking him to his feet and backing him against the wall. "If I wanted Lily, Sirius, I wouldn't be here." 

Sirius stared at Remus, watching his wild eyes. Remus held his gaze, daring him to look away as his free hand skimmed down Sirius's stomach to cover his cock through his jeans. Sirius's body contracted, his cock reacting to the pressure. "Are you? Here?" 

Remus released Sirius's shirt and reached down to catch his hand, pulling it against his own erection, letting Sirius's long, callused fingers feel the hard press of flesh. "I don't know, Sirius, am I?" 

"I've no desire to be some revenge fuck." 

"What makes you think that I'm going to fuck you?" Remus's fingers unfastened Sirius's jeans and shoved the denim to the sides, sliding it to move over silk boxers. "Always so elegant, down to the flesh, eh, Black?" He purred the words, feeling Sirius react, hearing the sharp intake of breath as he bent his head and licked the curve of Sirius's neck. "Can I shake that elegance?" 

Sirius shuddered, his hands trembling at his sides as Remus's hand curved over his cock, his fingertips brushing against his balls, the whisper of silk sliding over his hot flesh. He closed his eyes, swallowing hard as Remus's warm breath continued to decorate his neck, the steam pooling around them. "Moony…" 

"What's the matter, Sirius?" Remus purred the words, deep and throaty in his chest as they feathered and clung to Sirius's throat, slipping through his skin and fueling his blood. "Don't you want me?" 

"I do," Sirius assured him, bending his head and catching Remus's mouth in a hot kiss. His hands remained at his sides as he broke it just as quickly as it had begun and panted his need into the air on snowy clouds of breath. "But I need it to be me you're wanting." 

"You think I'm mistaking you for Lily?" His teeth captured Sirius's bottom lip, nipping at the swollen flesh. "I know you've never taken a biology class, Sirius, but surely even you don't expect me to do this," he slipped his hand in Sirius's boxers and wrapped his hand around his cock, his thumb swirling over the smooth head before he began stroking the thick shaft, "to a woman." 

"I didn't…fuck," he fought to keep his hands at his side as he sought out Remus's mouth, thrusting his tongue deeply inside it. Remus's hand continued moving, stroking slowly, tortuously. Sirius jerked his head back, both of them panting as he pressed it hard against the brick behind him. "I don't think you think I'm Lily. I just need you to not be wishing I was." 

Remus ran his tongue over Sirius's parted lips then pulled back, his lashes lowered halfway, his eyes burning with heat and desire. "I've only got one wish, Sirius." He kissed him, more nipping and biting and marking than gentle, then pulled away and sank to his knees. "Shall we see if it's anything remotely like yours?" 

Sirius let loose a shattered groan as Remus's mouth closed around his cock, heat exponential from the warmth of his hand engulfing him, staving off the cold night air. His hands shook furiously against the wall, nails clattering against brick until he gave in, slumping slightly, his fingers threading through Remus's shaggy hair. Remus's relieved breath melted around Sirius's cock and his hips jerked suddenly, his orgasm ripped almost forcibly from where it had hovered, coiled and ready to strike in the pit of his stomach, spilling down Remus's throat. 

"C…Christ," Sirius shivered, his voice breaking. He was suddenly freezing, in a dark alley in the middle of November. "Christ, Moony." 

Remus stood, shaking slightly as well, his mouth set determinedly as he looked at Sirius. "Remus," he murmured as he pressed his body against Sirius's, trapped him against the wall, kissed him hard and possessively. "Call me Remus." 

Sirius nodded and stole another kiss before Remus's heat and body were gone. He watched him stride toward the flat, too stunned to remember, for a moment, to refasten his jeans before following after. 

"Remus." 

* * * 

Sirius woke in the morning and stretched, stopping as he encountered warm flesh. Opening his eyes, he turned his head slightly and looked up at Remus, shivering despite the heat of the covers at the sight of his intent, golden eyes. "You sleep like the dead."   
"You've known me how long?" 

"Yes, well, I guess I'm not used to sharing a bed with you." He rubbed one eye with the hand not supporting his head and sighed. "You also steal the covers." 

"That part I do on purpose." Sirius managed a smile, turning his body a bit so he was angled toward Remus. "What time is it?" 

"Late. After three." He dropped back onto his pillow and watched Sirius's profile. "We should, no doubt, get up soon and get going. After all, your ardent admirer will be waiting for you, I'm sure." 

"Ugh." Sirius shuddered. "Why can't Lily's sister's abhorrence of all things magic extend to me as well?" 

"Because," Remus grinned leaning closer, his breath fanning over Sirius's cheek, "she thinks you're handsome." 

"Well, I am at that, but I hate a lot of handsome people. Most of them in my own family. Don't see why she can't do the same." 

"It might have something to do with that one night you got pissed at Lily's parents house and wandered around half naked, eh?" Remus lay back and stared at the ceiling. "You had quite an admiring contingent the next morning, as I recall." 

Sirius shuddered. "I didn't know the silly girl had friends over." 

"And they all were quite impressed with your choice of attire, as I recall." 

"James is a bastard," Sirius growled, half-smiling. "Besides, if the stupid bint hadn't screamed the house down, we might have been in a much different place by now." 

"Oh?" Remus cocked an eyebrow, raising up onto his elbow again. "And how do you figure that?" 

"We were drinking, James dared me to do something I'd never do sober. Everyone just assumed I was going to Petunia's room." He turned fully onto his side so Remus couldn't look at him head-on. "What no one seemed to consider, except perhaps Lily, if her look was anything to go on now that I think about it, was that your room was just the other side of Petunia's." He turned over quickly, tossing the covers back toward Remus. "I'm going to shower." 

"How long?" Remus's voice was gruff and thick. "That was three years ago, Sirius. How long?" 

"I honestly don't remember," Sirius looked back at him, took him in. Remus's hair was a mess, scattered about his head, his face wan with too little sleep and too much booze. "In fifth year." His voice broke just slightly, enough that only Remus would catch it, equate it. "Dumbledore actually told me once that you never miss anything until its gone." 

"Go and shower, Sirius. You're going to have to Apparate home for your dress robes as it is." 

Sirius turned and walked into the bathroom, resting his hands on either side of the sink as he stared at himself in the mirror. He looked almost as bad as Remus, hair in wild disarray and his eyes haunted. He glanced down at his morning erection and sighed, the unbidden image of Remus's mouth around it pulling a groan from his chest. He looked up, sighing, the sound caught in his throat at the sight of Remus standing behind him. "Moony?" 

Remus shook his head and stepped closer, his reflection floating over Sirius's right shoulder. His eyes glinted and Sirius swallowed hard, his cock shifting in the thin fabric of the borrowed pajama bottoms. He bit his lip and dropped his gaze as he felt Remus's fingers brush against the waistband, easing it down slowly as his hands moved around Sirius's midsection, catching the fabric and easing it over his cock. 

The bottoms fell to Sirius's feet and he looked up. Remus's eyes were intent on Sirius's reflection and Sirius's grip tightened on the sink. He opened his mouth for air, his tongue tasting nothing but the desire thick in the room as Remus's body came flush against his, his hard cock settling firmly against Sirius's ass. "Oh, fuck," Sirius whispered, his eyes fluttering closed then opening again as Remus's breath fanned over his shoulder. 

"That might well be my intention," Remus's voice was thick, barely recognizable. "No drunken fondling in a back alley, Sirius. Do you want me to fuck you in the cold, hard light of day?" 

Sirius trembled and opened his eyes, nodding as he held Remus's intent stare. "Yes." 

Remus lowered his head, refusing to break their gaze as his teeth grazed Sirius's shoulder. His tongue followed, tracing the faint mark he'd left. Sirius trembled slightly, swallowing as Remus bit at his neck, sharp teeth pulling tight against his skin before releasing it. 

His hands rested on Sirius's hips, thumbs moving in slow circles over the sharp jut of his hip bones, Remus's own hips rolling in matching circles, his cock pressing hard against Sirius's flesh before moving away. 

The air in the room grew thicker with harsh breaths as Remus lifted one hand to the nape of Sirius's neck then let it slide slowly down his spine, tracing the bumps beneath the skin with feather-soft touches, applying occassional pressure until Sirius's back bent further, bending him over until his eyes were just even with the base of the mirror, Remus's face filling his vision. 

Cold air rushed around Sirius as Remus suddenly pulled away and he gasped aloud, his fingers slipping on the cool, chipped porcelain of the sink as his arms nearly gave way. His protest died on his lips as Remus moved back to him, fingers caressing again, sliding this time over the curves of Sirius's ass. 

"Moony…" 

Remus shook his head, still holding Sirius's gaze. He kneaded the flesh slowly, rubbing the skin, edging closer to the tight muscle with every swirling stroke. Sirius dropped down to his elbows then rose again as soon as he opened his eyes, unwilling to lose sight of Remus. He braced himself, tightening his grip on the sink as Remus smiled, nothing familiar in the curve of his lips. 

Sirius inhaled deeply then let the breath out, stopped as Remus's finger pressed against his ass, rubbing over the puckered flesh. He nearly choked on the breath and the moan, his back arching. 

Remus's hushed response was lost in the blood rushing in Sirius's ears, the pulse pounding its way down to his cock. His whole body tensed as Remus's finger pushed slightly, urging the skin apart then pulled away. Sirius moaned his disapproval, swallowing the sound as Remus's finger returned, slick and wet, parting the skin in one easy thrust. 

Sirius's breath huffed out in a rush as his muscles tightened around Remus's invading finger. He swallowed against his dry throat, mentally drilling himself to relax as Remus began a slow rhythm, the thrust of his finger matched by the press of his cock against Sirius's thigh. 

"Merlin," he whispered as another finger joined the first, the speed of Remus's thrusts increasing. He clung to the sink, wondering peripherally if he could hold it hard enough to put marks in the porcelain when Remus pushed another finger inside, curving them at the height of the thrust. Sirius rose up on the balls of his feet, his entire body shivering, his cock quivering as Remus repeated the gesture. "Oh…fuck." 

Remus spoke wordlessly against his skin, waiting until Sirius's gaze was back to his before moving, the tip of his cock wet against Sirius's flesh. The burning amber of his eyes pierced Sirius's gray ones, holding them hostage as he pushed, his cock inching past the still-tight muscle, filling him slowly. Sirius gulped air, exhaling it in hard pants that did little to calm the pounding of his heart, the throbbing of his cock. Remus stilled, his cock buried inside Sirius, and simply stared, his own lips parted with ragged breaths. 

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, silenced as Remus grabbed his hips and began thrusting in earnest. His eyes closed, surrendering to the sensation as Remus pulled away then filled him, slamming their hips together, rocking against his arse and driving Sirius forward. His cock brushed the cold of the sink and he whimpered, reaching down to protect it only to find Remus's hand there, wrapped around him, stroking the flesh in time to his own body's movement. 

The world narrowed to Remus's eyes, the sight of them swirling as sweat and tears and hunger clouded Sirius's vision. Remus's cock thrust deeper, his hand moved faster and suddenly everything exploded like amber shattering as he came and Remus came and the sink suddenly broke free of the wall, sending a blasting spray of cold water over both of them. 

* * * 

"It's just as well," Sirius decided as he handed Remus a dark robe. "Your dress robes are in a terrible state." 

"They were just slightly worn." 

"As you've been wearing them since you were eleven." 

"Now they're drenched and stuffed in a pipe." 

"It's really all they're good for." Sirius nodded to the robe in Remus's hands. "It's their wedding. It won't hurt to look nice." 

"Well, I'm not the one Petunia's interested in, am I?" Remus smiled maliciously. 

"Be careful, Moony. I'm not the one who accosted me in the bathroom." 

"Complaining, are you?" He notched an eyebrow and leaned against the wall. "After the fact, of course, because, as I recall you weren't quite coherent enough to speak during the actual event." 

"I spoke." 

"I don't know that begging me to fuck you harder actually counts as conversation." 

"Were we supposed to be having conversation?" Sirius asked. "Is that what that was about?" 

"Oh, do shut up, Sirius." Remus shook out the robes and raised his eyebrow again. "Who exactly did these once belong to?" 

"Regulus, I think. Kreacher was never the best at getting our clothes where they belonged." Sirius turned over the collar, his fingers brushing Remus's as he did so. "I assure you that the chances of wearing them making you have an urge to join Voldemort's minions is very slim." 

"Just wanted to make sure they didn't belong to one of your other conquests." 

"We Blacks may be depraved and such, but I can assure you, I've never been hard up enough to molest my little brother." 

"I notice you left out the mention of other family members." 

"Says the bloke who's making eyes at my little cousin." Sirius stopped, remember when Remus had made eyes at her. "Is this going to be hard for you?" 

"Wearing Regulus's robes?" He asked lightly. 

"Remus." 

"I've no problem with anyone knowing that we're together, Sirius. Even Petunia, so perhaps you're safe from her after all. I'm sure she'll be perfectly horrified to know that, not only are you a Wizard, you're a great poof as well." 

"You know what I'm talking about." 

"It's over, Sirius." Remus slipped the robe on and carefully didn't look at Sirius as he checked his reflection in the mirror. 

"I know that." Sirius moved behind him and rested his chin on Remus's shoulder. "You'll notice that's not what I asked." 

"No." Remus shook his head and moved away, grabbing Sirius's robe from the bed. "It's what I told her to do, what she needs, what I want for her. It's what Harry needs." 

"Harry?" 

Remus shrugged. "The baby." 

"I…oh." His eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. "You did know." 

"Get dressed, Sirius. We've a wedding to attend. Bad form for the best man to be late." 

* * * 

Lily looked up as the door opened, her face shutting down as Sirius slipped into the room. "I think we should adopt a tradition where it's bad form for the best man to see the bride before her wedding as well." 

"Remus will be fine. I'll make sure of it." 

Her jaw tightened and she nodded. "I knew that. Otherwise you'd not be with him. I'd have had James make sure of that." 

"I thought you loved him." 

"I do." 

Sirius grabbed a chair and turned it around, straddling it as he faced her. His eyes were clear, no animosity in them. "Then why did you do what you did last night? Tell James in front of him, in front of me? You must have known what that did to him, what seeing that did to him." 

"Obviously not much from the look of you this morning." She turned away from him and moved over to her bouquet, tracing the edges of the petals. 

"Fucking is easy, Lily, and let's be honest, that's probably all Remus is doing with me now, though it will change. You didn't do that to make him fuck me." 

She was silent for a long moment before sighing, biting her lip as she turned completely, the delicate lines of her back trimmed in silk and lace. "I watched you for a bit, the three of you. I love you all. Brothers in all but blood, but he stands apart from you, even when you're together. He has this wall around him, made up of his secrets and the lies he tells himself and the belief that he has that he has nothing to offer anyone beyond the surface they see. It's the same reason you protect him, Sirius. The same reason you sent Snape to the Shack. He's wounded and it hurts us to see him not show the scars." 

Sirius swallowed, bowing his head as she turned to face him. 

"I stood there and kept thinking that I love James and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And then, unbidden, I thought that I needed to spend the rest of my life with Remus, saving him from himself. But that's not what Remus wants, not what he needs." She managed to smile through the hint of tears that threatened to ruin the light makeup she wore. "But I knew that, if there was the slightest chance that I could have him, I might be tempted to take it. So I took my chance away." 

"By hurting him more." 

She shrugged and the tears spilled over. "That's the only options there are with Remus. Love him, hurt him or love him and hurt him." 

"He deserves an explanation." 

"No." She shook her head. "You deserved it. And you got it. And, armed with the knowledge of my mistakes, you can go out there and make him happy. Well, drive him insane, knowing you, but happily so." She sniffed and wiped the tears away with the ball of her hand. "He deserves better than you." 

"I know." 

She grinned and the tears glistened anew. "And you certainly don't deserve him." 

"I know that too." 

She smiled again, her lips trembling slightly as music started in the distance. "Now, go away. It's time for me to get married."


End file.
